iamme

2009-11-07T05:36:00.000-08:00

Silence precedes silence, a vacuum rushes in. I am blown aside, inside, outside without thought. Experimental, my sentimental needs are wrenched by the roots, thrown into the cataclysm of oblivion and her army.

Empty space awaits with open arms and no judgment, a silence like no other, profound in its truth. Quiet is the noise of existence, becoming neutralised by cosmic rays and the earth turning in awe.

Terra Firma sighs, busy with nothing, busy with everything. Holding the line between life and death, between night and day. Solid in her awareness, just before dawn, just before dusk, holding her breath.

Endless is the search for peace, this ultimate state of truth, the deepest sense of self. Yet always waiting patiently, in the space between silence. Ageless, balanced, whole, breathless, void of reason, all absolutes nullified. Awakened, realised, certain, everything can only be, now.

The vacuum grows stronger, I become. Compressed into a sub atomic god of sustainable quantities, unquantifiable, perfect. In this ultimate moment of ultimate moments may I never suffer memory or the sadness of loss in the fragile human mind.

I try to embrace this rebirth yet I shatter, into a million pieces and into a million pieces more, drifting endlessly. Scattered alone, still suffering the pain of existence until eternity grows tired of being.

I am weary of remaining formless in this void of nothing and everything, forever knowing with words but never knowing with being. Dreaming of skies so perfect they melt and Clouds so beautiful they implode on a breeze so gentle trees cry.

Is it here I should forever be, enveloped in natures bosom, almost blinded by truth. Unattached but completely aware that everything,
I am,
is an infinite symphony of perfection,
suffocating in love.

LOVE IS?

2009-08-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

Love is like a painting
Each moment like a brush stroke
And life............Life is the canvas

Understand, this painting will never be finished
For it will always change
As the canvas can never remain the same

You must both remember to adapt
Stand back and contemplate
And with new perspective
Your painting, your love
Will remain vibrant and dynamic

This constant vigile
Against the tired eyes of apathy
This gentle persuasion
To the deceptive hand of familiarity
This work in progress
Must never fade, or collect dust
Or live in the cuboard under the stairs

So with this metaphor
May you succed where many have failed
And give hope to those still searching...

BUBBLE GUM

2009-05-09T09:21:00.000-07:00

C ould it be possible to contain the truth of this word?
U nderlying all the things in the universe this truth remains
N o matter where you turn, it flows deep within us
T o the end of time and back we remain complete and utter
S oldiers of a dying art, gathering dust in an attic!!

ESCAPE ABSOLUTES

2008-12-29T08:23:00.000-08:00

A few drops fall from a leaf
Somehow slowing in time
As the graceless fight against gravity
Hit's the surface of the infinite loop
The ripples shattering perfectly
whilst stillness shudders in chaos

I cannot escape these truths

All I am and will be has already been
Nothing but the silence of being
And the faint traces of my action
Remain a stain in the place of my life
It feels as if I am already dead
Or numbed by this, our modern world

I cannot escape these truths

Each moment too hideous, each moment too frightening
The weight of perpetual motion drowns out the suffering
How can I fathom my essence in this the present tense
I barely know my own face, I can barely hold a stare
I am certain of nothing but live in a world of absolutes
Absolutely I don't belong yet by this, I am defined

I cannot escape these truths

BAckwaRds In a ForWArd MotioN

2008-11-13T03:11:00.000-08:00

I can hardly breathe
the weight is growing like gravity
dissipating beauty in slow motion
fading I will be standing alone
on a rock of dust staring
in awe at the earth
gripping tightly to the horizon.

After all that's said and done
the mirror has no mercy
I am a victim worthy
of all Dorian Grey hides
locked far, far away
in a cold dark place
hiding the one true face.

Breaking broken mistaken
Choices have forsaken
I awaken falling, hurtling
towards the unforgiving concrete
of perspective and consequence
insolence inconsolable indifference
circumstance only I will understand

The edges are irrelevant
with wreckage from an elephant
trampling anything I might hold dear
kamikaze violence decimates my life
distortion has a natural affinity
with all that might seem clear
I am an effigy of epitome reversed

Shhhhhhh

2008-11-06T18:33:00.001-08:00

Don't be so brilliant to quietLY
only the mice will hear
and we all know you know
they are all quite deaf and so and so

So what is there to show you grow
because you say you think you know
or so you say or say you so
or say you do because you know

CASE-ISM

2008-11-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am worried
that one day
some way away
a day in May
might be the way
that lower case
becomes the place
where isms fight
YOUR UPPER CASE

face

Take me down

2008-11-06T18:09:00.000-08:00

So let's begin from end again, again the end the end of end
Let's see where the never, never ends, then ever ends and forever bends
Back to the back and back your fact, the fact is fuck and FCUK is back
Fluxed and flaccid undisciplined acid wisdom and truth are paralysed placid

A meditation compromised rancid, massive elastic, ecstatically cosmic
Off set endorphin morphine saline dry clean dope fiend day dream
Suffering slip streams fibre speed virgin break beats retro light speed
On a wheat free B.C, A.D, O.D dislocate cock speak emanate dead me

ADAMS FATHOM

2008-11-06T16:22:00.000-08:00

Re-state your bunions bunious function
Within a glass case full of dismissed dis-function
Wander a wanderings atomic conundrum thumb
Of apples and pears and goldilocks hair despair

Fairs fair, but don't stare this affair AWARE
My Christian D'or of mental care maternity wear
Will milky milk a lactate milk stick over there and there
Buyers beware, the after care really just isn't there

On the Eve of Adams madam Earth unravels a fathom

Don't be so mysterious for a minute serious Sirius
Our distant cousins are already amongst us, us and them
And...THEN, we'll begin begging again my modern friends
Upon a story with a glorious end that we'll all pretend

happily happy ever after, and then, and then, and then
happily happy ever after,and then, and then, and then
happily happy ever after, and then, and then, and then
happily happy ever after, and then, and then, and then

On the Eve of Adams madam Earth unravels a fathom

THE LAWS OF NATURE

2008-09-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

There is a me that exists, a rumour of sorts
More metaphor than man, ideas and retorts
In colourful desolate waste land hues
Leftover from some horrific experiment

Not even clouds can form above here
The war of values, erase time and meaning
All solids collide, whilst nature is not recognised
Body and spirit become something else squared

If I am matter, does anti-matter, matter?
My slightly aware masquerade has become the latter
Meaning drives head first towards the quantum self
I react only through instinct and a poetic post mortem

Stop, the world is mere reflection, misdirecting
Paralysed from eyes tired from wisdom tickling
I see pity and affection huddled, reformed by fear
Anxious, roaming, tired with heavy footed steps

Drop facade, before a yard takes a yard of Artic shelf
My love, music slaves of lard you are bizarre retards
I eschew on hubba bubba death gum to subdue me
Bubbles inside of me, bubbles inside of me, infinite

Gently quiet, pop popping without rhyme nor prose
I draw breath from inter stellar Odyssey and such events
Big bangs or not I assume no vendetta or hidden agenda
I quiet to listen, not to the laws of man, but to the laws of nature

to the laws of nature

A version of truth

2008-09-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

Weathered
and utterly worn
like trying to attach a scab
to an open wound
flakes of reference
build a wall of crumbs.

Don't stop your falling,
only you are emotionally attached
to the nuances of your quiet failures.
Broken and ice cold whatever is time, is looped.
Again and again I hear a nothing, syn-phonetically
replicating a pathetic resurrection of fragmented recollection.

It's me or some new age diplomat,
who is for some reason, beyond subjectivity,
waiting for a whoever you are once more, again.
For whatever meaning other than, that's that and
the glossy cover story of my own, post, post history
I am unsightly overseeing as an indiscreet boredom.

The never ending story becomes strangely remixed.
A new versions stands proud with arrogant aggression,
lot's of different scenario's pave a road towards possibility
until the big bad wolf makes a costume from the batman.
All that is possible becomes a secondary commercial revolution
re-invented or repenting, either way the never end, is never ending.

Looking 4 troubl;e

2008-09-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

I remember trying to figure out
How to sound clever forever
Something got in the way, yet again
Self destruction has an unquenchable thirst

Violent resonating deja vu
Break off the ice caps
Humanity can await the pleasure
Of consequence and all her new friends

Third, fourth and Fifth updates, menstruate
There is nothing left, that can alleviate
This sense of utter frustration, tenfold
Mania is nothing without action

I am either way, evolving or devolving
\\\\\\\both are equally unsatisfactory
Whatever happens, someone let an animal loose
I am trying to determine that it isn't me

Two parties own my decisions
Yet I am the (inner) voice some call God
Confusion runs inconsequentially
Rampant and rabid, spreading disease

Post modern, existential philosophical fashions
Break apart any hope of survival for the ego
A triumphant fair trade alternative relieves guilt
Organic design mechanics, re-invent doctrinal pacifiers

We are
\\\\I am
Just another

VICTIM

INCOHERENT STATIC

2008-09-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

A low pressure in the atmosphere
Makes a personal assault on my mood
Clouds of melancholy gather with purpose
Suggestively ominous and pregnant with rain
I feel exposed, unsheltered and slightly odd

I cannot sleep (sleep) but that is all I wish to do
There has been a secret shift my mind hasn't yet disclosed
I am taunted by uncontrollable shifts of emotions oceans
Tidal and unrelenting the need to vent is never ending

What silent assassin poison's my h20 into vengeful currents?

Twisted disfigured jigsaw complete an incoherent static discharge
Second hand, second guessed jumble booty, cheap, clean, yet discarded
End up faded and chipped, gathering dust in someone else's psyche
A step ladder to my step Dad and all other forms of monstrosity collide
Distorted discords and major fifths harmonise, the story of self pity unfolds

UMBILICAL CONVERSATION

2008-09-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

O
Oh
Can
You
See it
A speck
A glimmer
A fragment of light
Illuminating the way
In the chasm of self doubt
Seemingly small perhaps
(But not insignificant)
Despite the infinite darkness
Encompassing, encircling
Waiting with violent breath
To smother a flame
That is perfect
Fragile
Pure

No
It cannot
Extinguish
This hope
Never
No

Remains

2008-09-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

Fragmented solace
Reconstructed artificially
A ca·coph·o·nous jigsaw
of dilated memories
Glued together with bias
on the fabric of recollection

Here, there, sporadically
is where we remain, iconically
Collated epitome most fondly
lubricating loss at our wake
After thought, after death, after life
In between Hors d'œuvres

spat from comfort

2008-08-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

WHAT HAS BECOME
OF THE BOY
THAT WAS SPAT OUT
FROM THE COMFORT
OF YOUR WOMB?

WHO KNOWS
FOR HE IS
TRULY LOST

TWO HANDS AND A MOUTH
DO NOT MAKE A MAN
OR MISGUIDED REASONING
mistakes, BAD CHOICES
self hatred, IMMATURITY

I (foolishly) SPOKE 2 MY EX
I AM LESS THAN HALF
OF WHAT I EVER IMAGINED
MY LOVE IS WORTHLESS
TO HER

WAS I WHO DID THIS 2 I
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE BUT (A FREAK
LIKE ME) WHO WANTS 2 BLAME I
HAH, HAH, HAH
THE JOKE IS IN MINE EYES

WHAT HAS BECOME
OF THE BOY
THAT WAS SPAT OUT
FROM THE COMFORT
OF YOUR WOMB?

WHO KNOWS
FOR HE IS
TRULY LOST

(?)

solid formless versions of...

2008-08-31T16:47:00.000-07:00

there is
AN ANIMAL
unleashed, terrifying
LIKE FICTION BUT WORSE
because I am real and human
WITH OR WITHOUT CONCIOUSNESS

anger grips the edges
REASON HAS TO SUCK UPON THE BREEZE
dormant because of morality and consequence
BUT WHO CARES APART FROM THE WEAK
un=derestimate me, that is the best i could hope 4

I WIL;L KILL, I WILL DESTROY;=====I WIL;L KILL, I WILL DESTROY;=====

broken, reformatted version for sale
NO ONE WILL BUY THIS SHATTERED ECHO
brick by prick on a lane of retro repetition
ONLY THE FALSE WILL SURVIVE
good, I would rather be me than them
EVEN IF I DIE A PAUPER'S DEATH

(even if)

MENS DIRTY DEEDS

2008-08-30T18:50:00.000-07:00

PATHETIC
MOMENTARY
VIRTUAL
INTERACTIVE
CYBERLUST

PIXELS
STIMULATE
FLUID
CULMINATES
ESCAPE

EXTERIOR
ORGAN
SIMULATES
PROCREATION
ISSUES

HAND
FIST
BLUR
STIFF
DONE

THOUSANDS
MILLIONS
single-minded
HEADING
NOWHERE

GENETIC
EXPLORERS
SWIM
DROWN
FORGET

UNBORN
CHAOS
VAPORISED
GLUED
BINNED

The rendering of stretched skin

2008-08-20T17:00:00.000-07:00

Free and untamed, wild and foolish
like a monster unleashed in the woods
you search for the affection of fears fear
from the little lesser none nothings of nowhere

Who can protect you apart from Leonidas himself
even he is no match for your quenchless void
roaming the plains of broken souls like a west end play
a pestilence smothers all those who may secretly guard you from yourself

Who can speak a speak resurrected for your listening pleasure
please, don't be so bold, for you are just a organic mortal
the boundaries of your delusions are finite
be careful young maiden as you may fall from grace onto sharpened rocks

An 'OUCH' louder than loud, swallows my anger
I wish you no harm but wish you wisdom of consequence
I will not teach you what you must learn but cannot lay idle
a hint as subtle as a breeze is all you will receive my friend

The effect of your own innocence lays therein, an unavoidable trap
Look not outro your other reflections but unto you, at yourself
no snoodle sniddling will feather an dusting of bibbly boob-aloo
this is your cause and effect so stand ready for re-adjustment

The shadows of Earth's starving savages are impatiently waiting
for any opportunity your naivety will allow your innocence to reduce to ash
wake up before WE bury you or worse, we cannot suffer the loss
the sun is bright but a life like yours is brighter, wake up

WAKE UP

(for life's sake)

WAKE UP

WHERE AM i?

2008-08-16T06:31:00.000-07:00

I can never love you
I will always hurt you

I am far away

I can never know you
I will never show you

I am far away

I believe in innocence
I believe in a higher self
I believe in solitude
I believe in loneliness

I am far away

I am far away

The quietly quiet adventures of Goldy Fish and the Quantum Flux

2008-08-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

The bemused oscillating semi circle
Was quashed by an over active quark
Equilateral parallel to something or other

It is tiring wanting something you cannot have
It is tiring being someone you cannot like
It is tiring looking for a thing called love

An upside down and back to front story
Drifted swiftly upon the brow of a yesterday
Braking the back of an elongated donkey

It is tiring questioning the everything
It is tiring being lonely but not alone
It is tiring being nothing yet all things

The effervescent monarch stood upon reason
Tall and proud yet ridiculously small and insipid
Only to hear the secret winds say 'shhh, ohhh, shhhhhh'

It is tiring listening to yourself whinge
It is tiring hearing yourself go on and on
It is tiring being tired when it aint' so bad

The Goldy Fish surveyed life with it's one good eye
Forgetting all it ever knew in three blissful seconds
Then relearning everything all over again and erm?

Erh..?

sociopathic sympathy

2008-08-10T16:56:00.000-07:00

I even amaze myself
Being the fool of fools
And the cunt of cunts
What other idiocy will I display?

Wow, really, fuck a duck
I am a fucking fuck, fuck
which has no rewards
Other than isolation and lonliness

A group of gay sharks gather
deep discussion rocks the ocean floor
and dolphin shit is all thAT REMAINS
when the echoes disperse

my poisons add a layer of fat
I only suck in when I remember
I am old and grey but not terminally
yet aged and riddled with repetition

Stalking, hunting and most of all dangerous
Memory and the past become one
Through and through completely complete
Nullified and exhumed my hypocrisy is perfect

A me in the past tense is subdued and wilted
Lingering on waiting for the rain, to rain
so all can be as it should, giving, honest and nourishing
yet violent chaotic and meaningless

A rainbow colours the sky and we behold
I do not comprehend it's perfect form
yet suffer it's undeniable validity
I am only just a part of a bigger picture

Alone in the dark

2008-08-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

In a few deliberate words that fall like rain in a desert
I evaporate into nothing as you feed like a heartless vulture
Consuming all that is left of me, leaving sun bleached bones

Regardless, the sand counts in silence as ignorance clouds your eyes
Be as you are my great princess denial will rot your mind
For it is not I who will survey a kingdom empty, arid and puerile

Feast and gorge on what is left I hope you have had your fill
My rotten flesh will make you sick, my scavenger of broken souls
Now fly back to where it is you hide, fly far away, until you die

I heard you say there's only you ( you, you, you) until the end
but ghosts of truth and foolishness walk gently through the night
and dark is where your soul repents, (walk the night in fright my friend)
(walk the night in fright my friend)

walk the night in fright

BLOOD FILLED SKIN

2008-08-03T03:23:00.000-07:00

The world, this life
A suprise had by all
Who would have thought
how much it grows
How things change
How nothing stays the same

Stopped, I look with deep wonder
I never knew I would feel this way
You and I, us and them
Just learning, still learning
students to a teacher
we can never comprehend

In the eyes of old friends I see
wonder, truth and more wonder
all of us, secretly taken unaware
by the breath taken complexity
and mind numbing simplicity
we ponder, our blood filled skin

Why was I never warned, educations fails
the system does not apply, irrelevant
Isn't this knowledge, isn't that knowledge?
A lesson learned is a lesson learnt alone
Well I am alone and I have learnt my lesson
Love, hate, love and harmony, teach me

MINDLESS SOUL KILLER

2008-07-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

A SCALE OF 10 2 WHAT
I DON'T KNOW BUT SOMETHING
I AM DEFINITELY AFRAID OF, whatEver
wHICH AT LeaST IS A GOOD SIgn
tHAT i AM SOMe whAT IN cONTROL?

aNGER IS NOT GENTLE HERE
vIOLENT AND DANGEROUS
my PERsONALiTY oRDERED DYSENTRY
iS REALLY FUCKING SCARY
i AM LeTHaL, REAllY fUCKIng LETHAL

FUCK GOD, FUCK THE selF, FUCK EVERyTHiNG
i DO NOT fUCKInG CaRE CUNT
fUCKING FUCK FUCK INTO A FULL STOP
yOU POINTLESS SLiVER oF WAStE
sLIDEs MEANINGiNGLEssLY INto roTTen FleSh

sILENCE iS ALL THAt CAn HEAr YouR LoNLINess
sO LonLINeSS IS aLL ThaT SILENce HEARS, MY dEAR feaR
a bODILEss WAKE RECALLs yOur MEMORY(ies) laKe
a NOSTAlGIC pORTRAyaL oF yOUr mOMENTARY paSSing
LeAVeS a RUSTic bITTER SWEEt 6 DISC COLLEctioN

jOIN THe dEAd AnD bE QUIET, OR be SOMEtHING or OTHer
i HEAR tHE AUDIENCE mUTTER a MUttER, tHE pRiCE iS RIgHT
oR THE pRICE iS RIPE AND yoU CANNOT pAY yOuR uTTEr
tHROUGH fear, oR kaRMIc BACk taX aGNOGSTIC FOoLErY
a COMMAND SayS, (kill me) COMMaND unKNOWn, (kiLL mE)

aGAIN i THINK aMMENd, oR AT LEasT rE-BEND tHE eND
tHIS ALTERED vIEW EXIST RIGHT noW, RIGHTEOusLY
vOCAl mELOdIES sOUNDTRacK mY fELOnY , pERfECtLy
i Am DISPEnsIBle BUt RelavaNt, WithouT me What Is anythINg
Empty CaskeTS BrEak OPen A Toxic numBing FlavouRleSs Rum

Tired FaithS ARE WOrn THiN ANd THiN, yET STRONger
Is It Tighter And Tighter the Further you desceNd
An ElectRic Blend Of NeuroNs And Friends
bring Together a HaRmonIOus uniVersal sketch
Of herE and Now, And NoW aS EnD

TWO STEPS BACK

2008-07-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

As a jack of no trade and a master of none
I find my self breaking off from a new continent
Drifting on the currents of indecision unable to moor
The tell tale weather patterns of continuous storms
Batter my shores and devastate my lands

My sub-continent drifts far away from a better future
Towards unknown territory of maybes and what ifs'
The magnetic poles lure me into desolate horizons
As the antiquated belief systems fall prey to the scavengers
If no man is an Island then where do I roam, alone?

In what seems a history of history the clouds break for a while
All currents and torrents rest for a breath as I wait in fear
A pack of hungry gulls tear at a carcass of self fulfilling prophesy
They will not hunger during the bleak winter months
Dormant monsters stir and wake, as nature grits her teeth

Still, you cannot but admire change or alternate states of truth
Even though a future-less future awaits, hope can still be found
This sub divided sub-continent can still find a place in this infinite cycle
As each grain of sand finds it's place amongst billions and billions of...
A lesser known us lifts his head and knows without knowing, I am everything

My western values take a cacophonous battering of spiritual whys
Hiding deep in the centre of this forsaken land, disease infests the soil
Yet nature has a will to life, and to death, which few can foresee, lest speak
While my loins and my seed take a circular position juxtaposed to my existence
I am lost exactly on my own path, never far from exactly where I want to be

JUST THEN, TWO STEPS BACK
RIGHT HERE, JUST NOW

BRITNEYS SPEAR

2008-07-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

An apple shaped wake
drowns the mistakes
in a pitiless lake
of obvious mistakes

The core is laden
with the seeds of accountability
as it twists it's way
deeper into the pastures of regret

I can no longer harvest my soul
A terrible famine is coming
I am without preparation
As locust rape my weakness

Old ghosts are quiet in resurrection
to forgive is not to forget
I am the slave to dormant anger
I stand shaking alone in it's shadow

UPON A SHAPLESS VOID

2008-07-10T18:27:00.000-07:00

We are, they are, losing me, somehow
I remember that boys boy
Who learnt to care, too care not
Here he is, again and again then
Even more triumphantly triumphant
With less to less loss and loss to less
Yet more to gain, again against the grain
The sand remains the same again

To all the shapes that colour my outline
To little to late, I am once more untamed
Free to run a chaotic mess all over myself
And nothing to wipe up the, the messy mess
Except other than my own self respect
Get in line freak, this isn't a freak show
Wait your turning turn, if you think you can
Try to teach a new dog new old tricks

The displaced mirrors bends an optical portrayal
Belly fluff cushions plump a weighty soul and we rest our heads
On the shoulder of Atlas and all he portrays
In a gospel of displacement, I look east perhaps even west
Eventually my farmers boundary relaxes my grip
I realise that each blade, each hum of a wing belongs only to itself
The more I personify it's meaning the less it is meaningful
The wind suggests a subtle melody that no one understands

Crusted in a case of self indulgence 1975 vintage
I sup a sip of lactating acid it's heavy odour breaks a sweat
Who am I to judge a fluid ounce of procreation
The apple knocks me squarely of my feet
Displacement, wasn't that someone else's moment
Eureka slips deeper and genius becomes passé
I graze my knees taking a metaphorical buggering

Yet eventually dawn beckons a lucid application
My program is better than yours squared or something
Just listen a listen or shut up and nothing
The 243 will get wherever you don't want to be and back again
Travel booze lubes whatever issues you couldn't resolve
Unless you run deep and deep into the your deeper hole
Dead flowers decorate a second rate heavy weight
I could have been a contender, I could have been a contender

Eventually your meant to be stripped of all your pride
A skeleton analogy of words that pretends your will
Death becomes a glorious release of shapeless freaks
Shadows will form in the absence of strength
And at your weakest will you stand you, upon your ground
As laughter laughs you look, your look around
A sound signals the end of all that ends that bends
Super drastic air born spastic we learn but never teach

Slave to the slave

2008-07-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

Whatever stone untangles a fickle web
Is unknown to me and my kind
Sunken to the depths of a granite basin
Our history of history lays buried
Underneath millions of layers
Nestled in the bosom of before and after
Smothered by the echo of here and now

I borrowed my view from a backwards march
Yet we ride, us, my brothers, brother
We ride side by side in different directions
A quantum's breathe from self realisation
Headless apocalyptic cryptic horsemen
Hell bound for some other answer or another
Ingesting a meek and mild alternative migration

In some other moment other than yesterdays prism
I get a sense of relative subjective =ism
From this moment to the next, sometimes I slip in-between
Being here and then, and then, and then...
The headlights blind my idealised sense of when
The wrong sends a shiver that takes me away and away
Everything vibrates at the speed of life then stops.

"Let's get it over with" said the lake to the swan
"Your fanciful spectacle is a mere distraction"
Macrocosmically endorsed imperfection
Swallows microcosmically dismissed perfection
The carpet is plump with all that is swept beneath it
Unladen your brooms and sift through the dirt
Nuggets of truth lay glimmering in the river of lies

The butcher sharpens a knife ready for the next kill
Fear does not deter the masses from there huddle
Somewhere in this bustling crowd I look around
Closed open eyes stare each other blameless
This should not be the case and no existential aloofness
can avoid the vile reflection of that which we criticise
and of that which fuels the fire beneath our quills

A black kettle boils a special brew my love, my muse
And we will sip a plenty with grotesque arrogance
Ripe and plump in our blissful evaluations
Scorning the ignorant and damning the fools
Full of prideful scorn for the blind leading the blind
Yet do help them navigate the terrain we half imagine
Wielding only our contempt in leather bound pre-nuptial sacks

A golden goose drops an egg before all the kings men
Yet they cannot put back together what they have broken
Upon the wall metaphor’s lullaby hums a guessing rhyme
Of which no answers can be found amongst the yolk and shell
Of all that is most true hides a deeper, soundless sound
A voice which is silent yet a voice spoken for all
Whispering a muttering “without out them, who are you?”

TRANSMUTATIO

2008-06-17T06:24:00.000-07:00

Life angers my soul
I feel darkness
Stir the dead sleeper
My mind wakes to dust
A prism of thought
Stings my skin
I am concentrate
Solid like a rock

(TRANSGRESS)

Blindly I feel
Whether I am real
Thought drenched in fear
I am born then I die
The something in-between
Opens my mind
Body drifting quietly
Towards decay

(TRANSFIX)

Backward I feel
A Full circle
of lost perspective
Living just to die
Endless twists of chance
Infinity beyond insane
A bubble bursts
Nothing stays the same

(TRANSMUTE)

Deaf, dumb and blind
I stumble into the unknown
Up to my eyes in eternity
I can almost sense a destiny
As something wakes inside of me
Dreaming of impurity
Dealing with reality
Hoping for immunity

(SOMETHINGS ON MY MIND)

The assassination of the weakness fool

2008-06-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

Poor us, poor me, poor precious
we have tricked us
I where my skin like a rusty fool
crawling a whimper into shadows decline
the different shapes of failure
record a permanent stain on a half life
half lived
let the jokers joke
let the liars lie
and the lost be lost
on a shapeless shape

Offer an offering of a formless future
sitting, waiting for reassurance
know without knowing
this self hatred, this hatred of self
if I could spell the word
I can only mutter
perhaps my insecurity wouldn't be
everything of nothing and why
I don't deserve what I won't deserve

Rock up, drop an egg
exercise your no control
nothing is to real, is 2 real
just that little bit to real
I measure myself and fall
very, very, very short
?
at least I have the concious tools
to measure a measure
exactly exact
this shape I have deformed

A loner knows clarity in ways unvalued
why am I so incomplete
am I so incompletely why
I talk the talk
and I listen a listen
like I have already lived
a thousand thousand lives
cut from limbs and mollusks
to die a weakness fool

Things are what is, if they are not
a lot of the same thing if you know
the is is, is not true illusionist
fake magic, fake tragic
the wisdom of a bigger picture
is the weakest part of you
fuck yeah, fuck yeah in this borrowed time
the counter action, is to violent
to express, to repress, to compress
let them be, let them be
who cares, who cares
chew gum then fuck off
my thingy thing is dead

An open orange awaits detail
the limited grasp on spiritual liberation
you know what it is, is it
but I am exposed, with no guard
vulnerable and defenceless
awaiting the fall of the cold steel
to steal away what fragments remain
sunlight casts a penetrating stare
I will break and then break
into an undisclosed form
shaky outlines and static inbetweens
are leftovers from the radiation
of a dying universe

You

2008-06-05T08:02:00.000-07:00

I know I have lost you alreadyNot even within an inch of my graspAnd I push you away on the backs of wild horsesYou are laying behind me in an empty positionMy touch feels like an invasion I am subject to the rejection of my own fears I am not good enough, (I am not good enough)If I knew you longer I would cryThe sadness I feel is for the loss I would have had if I wasn’t the fool I have always beenMy friends lay in the wings laughing at my own designMy heart grows heavy at their joy of my destructionSo I talk only to bury myself deeper than I can bareHow do I kill off the source that feeds meRevelling in grotesque idiocy, fucking the thing I want mostShe lays listening to the keys tap, tap, tapping... I, this drunken confession at least has a silent witness
Silence takes on a gentle awareness and stupidity takes a serious stanceNo words can redeem the aftermath my dear boyRiddle your way out of losing a creature so utterly wonderfulThe stagnant nature of your failure will pollute the river of your life with suffocationNo fool can be so foolish to fool even himselfOnce again the sadness chimes, go to bed little man, go to bedThe resonating truth prevails and what does it bringA new start, a new beginning, if someone so fair could..Quiet yourself fool, quiet your silly self, as if, as if..
How can I leave such a pessimistic end to fester in my worthI will not lend it fuel, I will not suffer it’s chantThis time maybe no, next time maybe yes but who is to knowA gentle whisper caress’s my skin, and then silent breezeIt reminds me of you and I look behind me, your still in my bed You, are at least,
still in my bed…..

A NOT SO LONG, LONG TIME AGO...

2008-05-26T10:07:00.000-07:00

Blink, blink

A fleeting glimpse

Peripheral vision going AWOL

All misleading me with illusion

Is she the one? Is she the one??

The age old games of singleton

Provide private jokes for the mind

Informing the senses of its dominance

'Your far to trusting' it says scathingly

The Empire fires the death star

And a peaceful planet is destroyed

I am glad my inside is on my inside

Not of course on the outside

Otherwise I'd be dead

My silly little idiosyncrasies

And pathetic lust, desire and fear

Make me far, far too human

So I dream that in some galaxy far, far away

I will find the love of my life

No longer chasing illusions of grandeur

Or dusting crops on tattooine

But alas, I am no Jedi

Ultimately the glitch of technology

Poor mans champagne and voyeurism

Leave a strange but comforting taste

While the me, in the third person

Pretends not to be looking for you know who

Thus, the world stays beautiful, hope endures

And my insides stay on the inside

Roaming the galaxy, slightly at odds with itself

Waiting to give myself to the one

Who can see through it all

And bring balance to the force

PREFACE

2008-04-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

I gaze into the sky at night
and see the infinity of the stars
and that is god

Not the forms humanity labels it
for god is just a word
and in it's true meaning
this means nothing

It is the purity of not being able
to comprehend infinity
that is god

It is everything
but not one thing
It is all
but nothing
and for one moment of purity
when i look into the stars
My insignificance and it's humilty
gives me clarity

God is creation
creation is life
Life is..
simply because it exists

Beyond religion
Beyond science
Beyond philosophy
Beyond reality

Not by words
Symbols
Or images

(Incomprehensible Dimensional)

DISCORDED RAINBOWS

2008-03-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

“Miracle cure or not” a man whispers “the seemingly impossible unstoppable path towards the ungraceful demands of aging raise certain questions on the mechanisms of life’s purpose” he continues talking deeper into his glass “perhaps it’s just a question of attitude and realisation towards the finite limits of physical nature”?

Once again I am unashamedly eaves dropping on a conversation, but this was slightly different. The weathered old man was having yet another one way conversation with his beer. Looking already half dead I was inclined to pity him but had become paralysed by watching each sip suck a moment of his life away and in-turn my pity.

Outside the rain was beating down with a characteristicly similar tone to the wretched worn souls sheltering in the bar. If I wasn't already becoming part of the rotten stench of regret I think the smell would make me vomit. A momentary break in the dreary grey refractions of light highlight the colourless characters embedded in already marked graves. These walking dead polluted by everyday impersonality bury themselves in familiar seats like grieving widows.

"It hasn't happened yet" says a voice with blackboard scratching optimism. I pause clenching my jaw and turn around with a murderous stare. I can't utter a word, my eyes say more than enough and I try to stifle the sheer brutality of the reflection I am producing. 'It may not of happened to me asshole, but your already fucking dead' this sentence continuously reverberates around my head and I only hope it doesn't slip from my lips like an unwanted orgasm.

A bus creaks to a halt outside, straining to stop with a vocal whine. I feast upon this temporary distraction staring desperately at an attractive face, whilst a limping toothless ghost drifts to the bar. "Same again" he mutters with confusion and I wish I couldn't remember his order, the very notion ages me. I instinctively switch off through some form of pre-cognitive self defense mechanism. Time flies by with my sub-conscious astride her back and we gallop over mountains, through rivers and streams finally blending into the horizon.

Back, sudden and violent with what seemed like an eternity translating into mere minutes. I the narrator am dragged back locked into this scenario with unforgiving clarity. "Things have got to change" shouts my inner monologue, I can only hope I survive the day. Shallow breathing sets in, my heart flutters and I feel itchy. My mind becomes dizzy from suffocating in this fouls stench, and I realize I am not death proof. If I didn't know better the minutes could become years and in one hour I would be dead.

Tick, tock, tick is this my forever loop from which I may never wake. The language of these mishapen souls becomes my own and the rhythm by which they fade is now mine. The air swirls around me stagnant and unwell whispering forgotten tales of heart ache, regret and wasted life. Sacks of congealed matter shuffle around purposelessly dissolving time with anesthetized sighs. All I feel is the pain, razor sharp fragments peeling away my flesh with each precious second. I must purge it from my wallowing mind in order not to suffocate.

In this haven of misery one of the greatest sorrows is the squandering of potential. This is where my half baked life finds it acceptance amongst the living dead. I feel frail and elderly, supporting my worn frame whenever possible. My skin hanging off my bones, internal organs functioning only through habit and each breath barely filling my lungs. Gravity seems to have forsaken me, I feel mud fill my skin, lead course through my veins and my eyes (worn away by the elements) do there best not to drop out onto the floor.

I listen to this noise shattering around my head, mumblings become tongues, mono-tonal and submissive. There must be a pause or temporary escape, will someone say something interesting? Even the old fool drinking his way into obscurity has become mute with apathy. Death casts a heavy shadow on this room, yet no one stirs or blinks an eye and I cannot suffer this exile from life. What door must I open to lead me from such madness?

Slightly hidden, underneath the background, a faint whispering creeps with stealth into my awareness. The sweet fragrant chatter of a dearest love makes her intentions known, and the pull of desire takes a deep rooted hold. I stare longingly at the array of alcohol and the medicinal qualities that would unfold with numbing satisfaction. To be anesthetized by distilled indifference has become unhealthily appealing and the perpetual trap of denial has been sprung.

If the morrow is to become better than the day then this one way road shall be forgotten and I will endure this psychological violence. With senses crumbling and passion being over run, to whom do I report these thought crimes? It would be wise to rise above these self induced toxins but there is nothing antioxidating about this atmosphere. My thoughts and words prove to be just to fragile and I unable to break the spell that becomes me, where do I run now?

Outside the rain has silenced it's cleansing melody and the sun stretches it's might drying away despair with rays of hope. The flow of everything is uplifted and I ask for it to spill into this unmarked grave. Nothing but nothing can revive this pit of enchanted sorrow and I feel powerless to shake it's weight from my mind. I look around in search for answers with the needs of a maniac. The mumbling man melting into the bar has woken from his slumber and begins talking back into his glass. I edge over thirstily but not wanting to wake him from his living dreams.

"If I die here, now, would everything I am implode back into the ether for one final dance. A cascade of chemical reactions and twisted beauty going super nova. When the last death throw whimpers away, will the fragments of my life just dissipate in the minds of those who I have left behind" I am pulled in with gravitational attraction "Is this the sum of my existence, an affair with life a marriage to death, will my everything just fade until there is nothing but particles of skin flickering, shimmering in the sunlight that streams through an empty room?"

My soul feels like a withered gnarly root but it's ok, what he is saying is somewhat reassuring which seems absurd given the context. So in this bleak picture I have painted with it's hues of grey littering the page like a colourless Pollock, I find solace in this seemingly negative imagery. Despite the mental state I'm experiencing I still know that, sooner or later, I will find a hidden pocket of strength that will pull me out of this ragged hole of self pity. The ghosts will frequent this place whether or not I or anyone else pay's any attention. So in a very human way I will go about my business, frozen in my own perception never really sure if anyone else actually exists, or for that matter even I.

THE END OF THE WORLD

2008-02-22T04:53:00.000-08:00

I want to be the one you want

I want to be the one for you

Was it you, was it me, was it us

That walked to the end of the world

I want to be the one you know

I want to be the one you hold

Is it you, is it me, is it us

Who can save the world with our love---------------------------------------------------------------------(I, I dream of autumn leaves

Kicking our feet through autumn leaves

Kicking our feet through autumn leaves)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I want to be the one you have

I want to be the one you love

Was it you, was it me, was it us

That touched at the end of the world ?

MONKEY IN A MAN SUIT

2008-02-21T16:24:00.000-08:00

Here I am

Juxtaposed

Between Meaning

And Insignificance

Marooned

On an Island of nothing

A monkey in a man suit

Falling from the tree of perception

Lost in jungle of relative realities

Here I am

Juxtaposed

Between me and you

and you and me

Searching relentlessly

Forced to exist

By the nature of things

My skeleton, my flesh

My skin, my mind

Dragged screaming into the chaos

Here I am
Juxtaposed

Between life

And death

A fly in a web

Helplessly frantic

Victim to the laws of evolution

Somehow compelled

Driven by survival

To try and break free

Here I am

Juxtaposed

Between chaos

And order

Monkey in a man suit

Shot into space

Passenger of perpetual motion

Weightlessly in tears

As Earth turns silently

Everything falls------------------------into place

ON MY HANDS AND KNEES

2008-02-21T14:10:00.000-08:00

So life makes sense,

don't make me laugh

Trust is for losers,

everyone let's you down

Try to think in human,

this is what we are

Chaos versus order

It's the universal way

Logic verse emotion

It's an endless sea of pain

Of why I'm here, fuck I'm not sure

My head is paranoid, I see things , I

Don't think in meaning, the word itself is flawed

(broken into endless pieces, tape the edges glue the doors)

Don't think you can, think you can run from here

This is it, if you blink this is what you miss

A simplistic world of complex simplicity

Now whats next? Oh yes, your life is meaningless

Let's stop, right now, am I making any sense?

Hypocrite, this is me and I,

I know myself

I try to try, so my dreams can carry hope

Belief, I know, believe in yourself ,yourself

THE TRADE OFF

2008-02-21T06:26:00.000-08:00

Don't fall out from the inside when you see through the lies

And don't feel that this is, that this is your life

Just hold back and focus then OPEN YOUR MIND

If time moves to quickly your life will fragment

You will not find meaning when holding a thread

No solid based reasons of why I exist

There must be some format to quiet this fear

Can you see how this, how this is a sign

That need has will to push truth aside

Still lost in a world of confusion and lies

Where dreams cannot mend whats left of our minds

Denial is futile, just believe in you fears

Dumbing down provides the comforts you need

Assimilation can ease the concious but means

Your missing out something, the thing you most need

Can you see all the beauty around you outside

The world view and meaning, these descriptions of life

Now try and let go and believe just in you

The reasons are reasons thats all they can do

The universe is will that grows and expands

And life is a trade off an exchange made in sand

And all the god's,

all the god's are now dead
And whats left

all the lies that were spread
And guess what

theres only life and then death
And your left, left with nothingness............................................................................................................................................................

gOd dOeS nOT eXIsT

PROXIMITY ALERT

2008-02-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

SUCK ME DRY

DRAIN THE BLOOD

FROM MY VEINS

NOW HURT ME

SMASH THE GLASS

TEAR MY SKIN

TRY TO PUSH ME

TEMPT MY ANGER

FIST MY SINS

TASTE ME

MY IRON RED

WILL STAIN YOUR FACE

I CAN'T BUT CAN BELIEVE IT

MAKING COMPLETE SENSE

THIS FREAK BEHAVIOR

SEEMS PERFECTLY NORMAL

THE MORE I WANT IT

THE HARDER IT CUM'S

AND I WANT IT, AND I WANT IT

YOU tHIRST TO HURT ME

I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR EYES

AND I WANT TO HURT YOU

BUT I AM AFRAID OF LETTING GO

I FEEL THE SHADOWS MOVING CLOSER

PUSHING ME, PULLING ME, PUSHING ME

CLOSER AND CLOSER INTO THE DARKNESS

TO A PLACE fROM WHERE I WiLl NoT rETuRN

THORNS

2008-02-21T04:01:00.000-08:00

How many times must you hold on

To the nothingness in your life

Like a hummingbird suspended

You hover on the edge

Crying out to something

Stop fucking with my head

HOLD THIS DEEP INSIDE YOUR MIND

I am aware how life
How life it tries to keep you down
I just don't care, i just don't care
As I'm bleeding from my crown
I struggle on, I struggle on
But everydays the same
The crucifix that I help build
Will take my strength away

I CRUCIFY, YOU CRUCIFY, WE CRUCIFY

An empty shell, a meteorite

Falling from the sky

Burning in the atmosphere

It's then you realise

The nothingness that mothered you

Was blinding like the sun

Reflecting light lost galaxies

Worlds that could have been

Focus is what you need to breathe

A breathe of substance to give your soul relief

I filled my life with poisens, empty love and greed

It only masks the pain I must release

If all you want is this

Then drown inside your sorrow

The shadows of your life

Besides you they wil crawl

If you want is this

Then rest your heavy eyes

And listen to the sounds

That echo in your mind

Stay with me-I want you to play with me

Lay with me-I want you to die with me

INTO NOTHINGNESS

UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT

The IF after L ends in E

2008-02-20T17:20:00.000-08:00

LIFE

There is no meaning to life

Am I INSANE

If only, if only

Then I would't have to feel

HELPLESS-IRRELEVANT-INSIGNIFICANT

I am but a witness

To all this power without reason

This Universe beyond comprehension

All around us

Yet we stare blind

Hiding behind our imaginaiton

Filling the void with reason

To scared to face

REALITY-ETERNITY-INFINITY-MORTALITY

Concepts of humanity

Curb the insanity

Of a limitless reality

Beyond heaven and hell

Though time has meaning

Without life and death

There is no reason, no reason at all

The tallest mountain, the deepest sea

Is something near Eternity

The smallest cell, the stars we see

Is something like Infinity

The darkest thought, new technology

Its nothing revolutionary

So I question our entirity

If nothing is a certainty

And build a new identity

A little evolutionary

DON'T

2008-02-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

DON'T... ASK WHY

MY FEELINGS SUBSIDE

IF NOTHING IS-------------------------------- REAL

I WON'T FEEL

DON'T ASK...........WHY

I WON'T CRY
I DENY

ALL REASONS
WHY
IF I CAN'T................. BREATHE
MY FEELINGS----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------LEAVE

SO I EXHALE
YOU, US, MEMORY...................(FAILS)
DON'T ASK
WHY
I WON'T DESPAIR
I DON'T KNOW

I DON'T CARE

OMEGA ALPHA

2008-02-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

Loneliness

Solitude

Weep

Cry yourself to sleep

Consume

Condemned

End

Leave it all behind

Innocence

Mesmerised

Transfix

This lullaby

BreAK iT Up

MakE THe EdgES shARp

AnD FeED mE

PieCE bY PiECe

Suicide

Paralysed

Denied

Eternal sleep

Meaningless

Nothingness

Lost inside

Death's shadow

Memories

Umbilical

Realise

I won't forget

THIS DISEASE IT RAPES MY REFLECTION

THE PAST IT HATES MY INTENTION

I WILL LIVE THIS LIFE OF REJECTION

THAT PRECIOUS THING YOU ARE

Confessions

Expressed

Digest

No excuses

Finalised

Compromised

Immaterial

The end is just a dream

Evaluate

Emulate

This gift

A different world I see

BreAK iT Up
MakE THe EdgES shARp
AnD FeED mE
PieCE bY PiECe

AN INSIGNIFICANT BLUE FLASH

2008-02-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

In this little world of mine

The backwards view twists my mind

I hear a voice but don't why

Is it me or my self despise?

What is it all for

When the something I have

Means nothing but lies

Yet still wonder why

I hate and paint everthing I do BLUE

Ask my soul

Deep inside

I am out of control

AN INSIGNIFICANT BLUE FLASH

I know where and what I am

Not who I was that is dead and gone

Left behind with all I had

And all I, I'll ever want

I'll slash it through

let the blood run free

Can you hear or is it me

This emptiness is killing me

I keep it all so far away

I am alone a broken haze

Things I feel all I see

Maybe nothing but my fantasy

AN INSIGNIFICANT BLUE FLASH

META-PHYSICAL DIACOTOMY

2008-02-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

iNSIdE i aM crYING

tHE ecHo OF tEArs

stAIN My cLOwN FAce

iNsIDE iaM LaUGHiNg

I cANnOT cONTAin

thE JOy NOt disPLaCed

oUTsiDe IaM SeLFisH

I waLLoW iN pAin

aND tHIs iS My fAitH

oUTSidE i aM gODlesS
sPiRitUALly wHoLe

RELigeOUSLy mACeD

INsiDe iAM dYinG

A cANCeRouS gROwtH

oF CHoiCEs i'Ve MAdE

iNSIde IAm liVIng

oN TOP oF A WoRld

oF loVE i haVE mAde

oUTSide I aM diSTanT

whO CAn I sHow

My oNLy TRuE fACe

oUTSidE i aM hUMAn

a vESSel tO WitNeSs

meTA-pHYsiC rEMAiNS

SELF CONFESSIONS, SEX AND LIES

2008-02-20T12:27:00.000-08:00

Dirty white eyes

Seething breath

Sexual deviance

Unparalleled highs

Darkness opened wide

Those moments awaken the soul

Mutating, twisting reality

Backwards innerself

Co-existence decides

The depravity drips

Like blood from my lips

And I become..

(Whole)

An extension of mind

I am dead but feel alive

Inbetween worlds collide

So many, many times

Am I alive

Am I alive
Am I alive?

To feel nothing but darkness

Lifeless matter silently feeding

A decaying parasite

Enduring the taste of flesh

But so tempted to dine

I hold back and see myself

Staring from the shadows

Waiting for a moment when I blink

(If only I would)

Like a bullet into sickness

Would I stop, would I..

Realms of disjointed time

Implode like dying atoms

With wings of fire I fall

And I fall..

(Deep)

To deep to remember

My struggle cowers

Naked in defeat

Baring my crown

For one final audience

As darkness rapes the light

I become

Far beyond

Empty memories

Flickering lights

(I am)

What I H8 most

POSSIBLY

2008-02-19T13:25:00.000-08:00

I can comprehend but won't prescribe
How chaos must be faced and order lost
The infinite embrace of nothingness
The fact that I believe there is no god
But possibly,
I am wrong,
Possibly

I am not the first to see how limited (ltd)

The systems of belief have become

But now it's time to take the transition

To a different state of conciousness

shedding geriatric spiritual skins

But possibly,

I am wrong,

Possibly

I don't care if hell is round the corner

This is my choice and I am not afraid

Because I can see the truth

I can see the reasons why religion

Has such powerful significance

How it displaces meaning

Redirecting the fears of mortality

Escaping logic through a back door called faith

We all need something to believe

It is human nature

To reject those things

We cannot comprehend

So we construct a logic, a system

Controlling truth through conditioning

Then recondition truth until

It's nothing but a distant memory

But possibly,

I am wrong,

Possibly?

A BRIEF WORD WITH MYSELF

2008-02-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

Walk away
from your empire of consequence
crumbling around your head
but before you leave
have a nostalgic look around

Focus your one good eye

Realign your inadequate perceptions King

then at least you could rebuild

or let it all just fall apart

Who cares for your empty waste land

You? Tell me do you know?

It could of been this, it should of been that

What, if, why and so on and so on

Awake from your dream one eyed king

Have a brief word with yourself

Before excuses bleed you dry

And dead is all you'll ever be

DON'T BE CLEVER, IT DOESN'T SUIT YOU

2008-02-19T12:58:00.000-08:00

It's probably not funny

but it is (sometimes)

I feel worthless

pathetic, weak

a stain on other peoples lifes

The problem, my problem

I don't know (just get over it)

Beauty, love, nature

Chaos, meaning and truth

They stand huddled together

laughing in a knowing way,

whispering in tongues

'we can't pity a fool that foolish'

I shrug

Just another day in the world of being me

MOMENTS

2008-02-19T12:54:00.000-08:00

A cold beer

Sunshine

Contemplation

A billion different people I could be

Chance

Chaos

Choice

(Right now I see)

I am a lucky man

IF I STOPPED AND THOUGHT EVERY SECOND WOULD BE A LIFE TIME

2008-02-19T12:46:00.000-08:00

I PAUSE

Holding my breathe

I listen

A baby is crying
Sunlight casts a shadow onto the bath
A car
Wind
Me

All these moments

All
Those
Moments

If I stopped and thought

EVERY SECOND WOULD BE A LIFE TIME

RELIEF

2008-02-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

I am sitting

on wood and porcelain

I tense my anus

shit squeezes into the toilet

WASTE

If only I could do this

to the memories

I no longer wish to keep

THE END IS TO FINAL

2008-02-19T12:09:00.000-08:00