TRANSMUTATIO

Life angers my soul
I feel darkness
Stir the dead sleeper
My mind wakes to dust
A prism of thought
Stings my skin
I am concentrate
Solid like a rock

(TRANSGRESS)

Blindly I feel
Whether I am real
Thought drenched in fear
I am born then I die
The something in-between
Opens my mind
Body drifting quietly
Towards decay

(TRANSFIX)

Backward I feel
A Full circle
of lost perspective
Living just to die
Endless twists of chance
Infinity beyond insane
A bubble bursts
Nothing stays the same

(TRANSMUTE)

Deaf, dumb and blind
I stumble into the unknown
Up to my eyes in eternity
I can almost sense a destiny
As something wakes inside of me
Dreaming of impurity
Dealing with reality
Hoping for immunity

(SOMETHINGS ON MY MIND)

The assassination of the weakness fool

Poor us, poor me, poor precious
we have tricked us
I where my skin like a rusty fool
crawling a whimper into shadows decline
the different shapes of failure
record a permanent stain on a half life
half lived
let the jokers joke
let the liars lie
and the lost be lost
on a shapeless shape

Offer an offering of a formless future
sitting, waiting for reassurance
know without knowing
this self hatred, this hatred of self
if I could spell the word
I can only mutter
perhaps my insecurity wouldn't be
everything of nothing and why
I don't deserve what I won't deserve

Rock up, drop an egg
exercise your no control
nothing is to real, is 2 real
just that little bit to real
I measure myself and fall
very, very, very short
?
at least I have the concious tools
to measure a measure
exactly exact
this shape I have deformed

A loner knows clarity in ways unvalued
why am I so incomplete
am I so incompletely why
I talk the talk
and I listen a listen
like I have already lived
a thousand thousand lives
cut from limbs and mollusks
to die a weakness fool

Things are what is, if they are not
a lot of the same thing if you know
the is is, is not true illusionist
fake magic, fake tragic
the wisdom of a bigger picture
is the weakest part of you
fuck yeah, fuck yeah in this borrowed time
the counter action, is to violent
to express, to repress, to compress
let them be, let them be
who cares, who cares
chew gum then fuck off
my thingy thing is dead

An open orange awaits detail
the limited grasp on spiritual liberation
you know what it is, is it
but I am exposed, with no guard
vulnerable and defenceless
awaiting the fall of the cold steel
to steal away what fragments remain
sunlight casts a penetrating stare
I will break and then break
into an undisclosed form
shaky outlines and static inbetweens
are leftovers from the radiation
of a dying universe

You

I know I have lost you alreadyNot even within an inch of my graspAnd I push you away on the backs of wild horsesYou are laying behind me in an empty positionMy touch feels like an invasion I am subject to the rejection of my own fears I am not good enough, (I am not good enough)If I knew you longer I would cryThe sadness I feel is for the loss I would have had if I wasn’t the fool I have always beenMy friends lay in the wings laughing at my own designMy heart grows heavy at their joy of my destructionSo I talk only to bury myself deeper than I can bareHow do I kill off the source that feeds meRevelling in grotesque idiocy, fucking the thing I want mostShe lays listening to the keys tap, tap, tapping... I, this drunken confession at least has a silent witness
Silence takes on a gentle awareness and stupidity takes a serious stanceNo words can redeem the aftermath my dear boyRiddle your way out of losing a creature so utterly wonderfulThe stagnant nature of your failure will pollute the river of your life with suffocationNo fool can be so foolish to fool even himselfOnce again the sadness chimes, go to bed little man, go to bedThe resonating truth prevails and what does it bringA new start, a new beginning, if someone so fair could..Quiet yourself fool, quiet your silly self, as if, as if..
How can I leave such a pessimistic end to fester in my worthI will not lend it fuel, I will not suffer it’s chantThis time maybe no, next time maybe yes but who is to knowA gentle whisper caress’s my skin, and then silent breezeIt reminds me of you and I look behind me, your still in my bed You, are at least,
still in my bed…..